Sunday Grains of Gratitude......

Another week down and we're quickly approaching the end of March, and while it came in like the gentlest of lambs, if today is any indication, it will be going out like a fierce lion. Wow - what an icky winter storm we're having today :( I'm grateful for the moisture - but seriously, it's spring - shouldn't we be having rain storms instead of snow???? It's been quite the busy week - with no end in sight from the busy-ness for quite some time. But, such is life :)

This week I'm grateful.....

that Brady was well enough to go to school all week. I can tell his sinuses are starting to bother him some, and that we'll probably need to get him on some antibiotics to help him through the time until he has his surgery. Poor guy :( It was a rough week for him at school, but I'm grateful that he is getting the opportunity to spend more time in regular ed., I wish that it had been this way from the beginning of the year - like it was supposed to be - like we compromised for it to be. Although with my experience with the school I do wonder sometimes if they are just documenting all his failures and difficulties with an eye to excluding him from regular education, instead of looking for ways they can support him to make inclusion successful for him. It makes me sad that I think that way, but really, I don't have a whole lot of faith or trust in either the teachers evaluating him, or the inclusive nature of our district. I think my school IS trying, but I also think that without the right people on board and the right supports in place, our placement in regular education won't be successful.

that the big girls did so great with their science fair projects. Big K's project was on osmotic priming (using different agents to help seeds grow better), and C's was on the ability of bacteria metabolize sugar substitutes. C's project, interestingly enough, has shown that bacteria can metabolize splenda and other substitutes, and thus showing that they really aren't calorie free, because the body can metabolize them to some degree (maybe proof that diet soda isn't making me thin ;) LOL They will be competing in the National Science Fair in May and they are very excited about it. I was so impressed with the variety and complexity of projects that went to state - there are some very, very smart, talented, and inquisitive teenagers out there.

that I got to go birthday shopping with C yesterday, and that the big piece of metal that flew up into our lane and our car on the freeway didn't do any serious damage to us or our car. It was kind of a scary experience and I'm grateful that Heavenly Father kept us safe, and that except for a scratch on the bumper and a small crack in the grill, we were totally safe. If it had lodged in other places on the car it could have been a different story. I can't believe my cute C is going to be 17 this week. How did that happen? How did my big girls get sooo big???

that Little K played well at her two soccer games this week. They came out with wins and she is doing much better at looking up to see who to pass to, and passing with a purpose and clearing the ball farther when she is playing D.

that Big K is having fun on choir tour! She was so excited to go. We miss her, but from the lack of texts or phone calls, I think she must be having a great time!

that I got to get together with a bunch of local friends with kids w/T21 for lunch on Thursday. It's been a long time and we had a great time. It was fun to meet some new faces and see old friends again - it's been a while since us moms have gotten together and it was fun :)

that the hubs and I got another short little date :) It was supposed to be a lunch date, but the sheer volume of work and conference calls on his plate didn't really allow for that, so we settled for dinner at his 2nd favorite Thai restaurant. It was nice to see each other and spend some time together. He was out of town about 1/2 the week, so I'm grateful that he is home safe and sound.

that J's band did well at festival. They got superior ratings, so that always makes the band director happy :) He played the bass drum and the triangle LOL

that H got to hang with friends this weekend and that he won his soccer game :) The vice principal asked him to include a boy in his class who has some serious health problems and learning difficulties and H was happy to include him in his friend group at school, and then went and spent a late night at his house on Friday to get to know him a little better outside of school. I hope there will be kids like H who will be willing to get to know Brady for who he is, and to figure out ways to get past his disability and social delays to really know him and be his friend. H has his own struggles, but he has a big heart and he does want to do what is right and he wants people to feel included.

that my knee and hip are feeling a bit better and I can exercise again - yayyy! It was so frustrating not being able to do as much for the last 3 weeks. I really need to lose this "stressful school year" weight!

that I could go to the Young Women's Broadcast with C and some friends. We actually had tickets to the conference center and were about 10 rows from the front. It was wonderful and inspirational. The emphasis was "Be thou an example of the believers" and a lot of it was about the new YW value, Virtue. The spirit was very strong and it was nice to be there with C. I wish Big K had been around to go with us too. There were some great talks, and a big emphasis on personal purity, and standing firm for truth and righteousness. I know that in todays society purity doesn't mean anything, especially sexual purity, but I was grateful for my dedication to purity and the goals I set for myself as a YW to be clean and pure and worthy to be married in the temple. This meeting was in such stark contrast to the episode of Private Practice I watched while working out the other day - where a 12 year old is having sex and it's condoned by her mother, and then she gets pregnant. I think there is something seriously morally wrong with the world when they see that as okay. I know many of my blog readers don't share the same values as I do, but, I am grateful for the strong values that I have and the strong foundation of the gospel in my life, and the life of my family. I know that it leads to safety, and that instead of being limiting - as most of the world probably views my religion, it is in actuality liberating. I'm, grateful for my testimony of Jesus Christ and for the example my parents and ancestors set for me, for the hardships they endured and overcame, for the sacrifices they made. I'm just so grateful......

What are YOU grateful for today???

Big Congrats to Big K and C!!!!

the girls and their teams both placed first in the state science fair and will be moving on to Nationals in May! WTG girls!

They were also awarded outright 4 year scholarships to a smaller private college about an hour away from us (one that neither of them has considered going to as it's tuition runs a little more spendy there, at $18,000 per year, than the college they both really want to attend). It's a tempting offer though - so we'll see what happens now that it is an option. I'm thinking that Big K will still attend her college of choice, but you never know. There is more to a college experience than just the academics, and I have to keep reminding myself of that when I look at the bottom line :)

But, we are proud of the girls, and grateful that we have such a GREAT chemistry teacher (who is leaving for another highschool, closer to his home next year - boo hoo) who really emphasizes the importance of science and who has really helped them get their projects off the ground and be successful!

WTG girls!!!!

Surgery is scheduled........

April 28th is the day...... Will you please keep Brady in your prayers??????

It may not be easy - but it's WORTH it!!!!

Lots of things on my mind today.

This morning I was at a friend's house and noticed she had a cute plaque on her wall that says "Choose Easy". I laughed and told her that was my motto ;) I guess I know where Brady gets it from - cause I like to take the easy road too -it's just - well - easier ;) But, as the day progressed and some things happened and I observed things and worked through my feelings on some issues, it became clearer to me.

Choosing "easy" isn't always the best choice.

Easy apparently doesn't describe how Brady was at school today. He had a difficult morning. I knew this would probably come into play with the adjustment of having a new aide, being pushed to do more, changes in his schedule, and even having someone different take him to school. He is fairly flexible (and not just physically LOL) and adaptable, but these are a lot of changes, and apparently he isn't rolling well with the punches - rather he's the one that's swinging them. Sighhhhhh. Although, after his rough start his first aide of the day told me the rest of the day was great. I don't have info. from the second aide of the day though - so I don't know exactly what happened there. I guess I'll have to chat with Mrs. W. to find out. Figuring out what's going on in Brady's head isn't "easy", getting Brady to do hard things isn't "easy", dealing with people who can't or won't try to understand and help Brady isn't "easy", getting people to see past Brady's disability to who he really is, isn't "easy". I have to think that BEING Brady isn't always "easy".

But.......

When you finally DO figure out what is going on in Brady's cute head, when Brady DOES accomplish something that was difficult for him, when people DO understand, help, and support Brady, when people DO "get" Brady - it is wonderful and amazing and inspiring.

It is.....

simply......

worth it!!!!!

In the end, it may not be easy.......but if life was easy, it wouldn't be hard..... and it is in accomplishing hard things that we truly find out what we can do, and often, who we are.......

I'm not sure "Choose Hard" is going to be my new motto - I'm not quite that progressive ;) But, I've definitely rethought "Choose Easy" today......

And - to quote Rachel Coleman, our SigningTime friend and hero - "Maybe we won't find easy........but baby, we've found......the good!"

Sunday Grains of Gratitude......

What a week! It's the story of my life - crazy, busy, and a mom that is sooooo tired!!!!! We've had some interestin' things come up to think about this week, and to definitely take to the Lord. It's hard to make hard decisions without His help :) It's a good thing that He can see the big picture, cause my view is so limited, sometimes I wish I knew what would be the end result of each of the choices I have. I'm thinking a personal crystal ball for each of my kids would be PERFECT :)

This week I'm grateful.....

that Big K got notification of a 4 year scholarship at her second choice University. I'm pretty sure she is still planning on attending her first choice (where she has a 1/2 tuition scholarship), but I think it was nice for her to feel validated that her hard work in highschool (and really, it HAS been hard work with 8 AP classes) to get good grades really does pay off. It's just hard that entrance and scholarships to her university of choice are so competitive that even with her excellent grades and ACT score, she still only qualifies for a 1/2 scholarship. But, we are grateful for that, every little bit helps!!!!

that H did well in his percussion audition and was accepted into the beginning percussion program at the jr. high. He was so excited. I'm also grateful that registration online for the first time at the jr. high went smoothly :) We can register online, pay online, honestly, I'm thinking that eventually we'll all just go to school online ;)

that Big K got asked to prom by one of her good friends :) He is such a nice boy and I know they will have a great time! Good thing we bought that dress the other day ;)

that C and Little K did well at their soccer scrimmages :) C's team tied the premier team they were playing (which was GREAT, since they had NO subs and this team is a division above them). Little K was up against a team that was older by a year, and they didn't fare quite as well, with a loss, but still, good practice as the season starts THIS week!!! The hubs got to ref the game and he is a little sore today LOL :)

that J had fun at his band concert and got all his practicing in :) He also went to a pow wow and got his space exploration merit badge. We've really got to get to work on his last 2 required merit badges for Eagle :) He is close!!!

that H got two merit badges at the pow wow :) He is excited to be turning 12 here in a few weeks and become a full fledged boy scout :) He also got news from both his rec soccer coach and that he made a minor league baseball team. He was excited to start practices for both. Now to find a way to fit those all in with the play and scouts :) He is one busy boy!!!

that C decided to go out for SBO (student body officer). I have mixed feelings of gratitude for this one. I think if she makes it she will be a GREAT SBO, but I have also seen what a huge time committment it is. She has great leadership ability and really influences the lives of people that she comes in contact with. But, with this position and time commitment also comes a financial commitment on our part, as there is no way that she will be able to have a job. No job = no money. No money for gas, for activities, for college the next year. I guess we'll have to re-crunch the numbers for the budget and see if we can all eat ramen 24/7 to finance student council for her and college for Big K. Really - I should have been more prepared for how much MORE expensive they become as they get older :) My bad ;) I'm happy for C though, she will be great.

that we could go to a small gathering to celebrate our friend Jake's cancer remission :) We are so happy for his family and that his battle is done - hopefully forever!!! It was fun to see friends again and to celebrate Jake!

that it was World Down Syndrome Day! We celebrated in simple ways, but loved every minute that we spent together with Brady and are so grateful that he is a member of our family and for all the things he has taught us in his 6 short years. We love you Brady!

that the hubs and I got to go out on a date! We went for dinner and movie and it was wonderful. We really haven't gone on a date like that for a lonnnnng time :) It was good to spend some time together as the hubs has been VERY busy with work - working a full work day and then coming home and working til 2 and 3 a.m. from home. I am grateful for his job and that he is so willing to work so hard for us at jobs that he sometimes doesn't enjoy to provide the necessities of life and more for us. It was nice to sit and talk at dinner and spend some time with just each other :)

that Brady has more aide time. It will be a learning process for all involved. I'm a bit bummed that it took all year to work up to this, but am grateful for the support the administration is giving to try and make the rest of Brady's year more successful. It has been a frustrating year, but I am grateful that Brady is getting more time in regular ed and being given more opportunities to learn things on his level, and not just going over and over things that he has known since he was 3 years old.

that we now know that Brady has significant sinus disease and the options of where to go from here. After talking to a couple of friends whose children have had the surgery, including one that was done by this same doctor (who also did Brady's T and A), I think we have decided to go ahead and do the surgeries on both his sinuses and his ear drum. I'll be calling this week to schedule. Please pray that they will go well and not have any complications and that they will really make a positive difference for Brady in his quality of life. He has been so miserable with these chronic infections and it affects every area of his life, I just pray that this surgery will help to improve the constant infections. I'm grateful for doctors who really listen to their patients and their patient's advocates, when the patients can't speak for themselves. Sometimes it takes going to different doctors to find someone who is willing to work to find solutions, and I am grateful for a couple of doctors who really do want to make a difference in Brady's life and help him.

that my kids get to go to the temple dedication broadcast today. We don't have a sitter for Brady, and he can't go because he isn't baptized, so I will be staying home with him, but I'm grateful that the hubs can take the others. We'll switch off and when the next opportunity comes, I'll take it and he can stay home and play with Brady :)

What are YOU grateful for today?

Tomorrow is 3-21 - World Down Syndrome Day......

a day to celebrate the beauty that is Trisomy 21 - aka - Down Syndrome.



Now I know that people don't always see beauty when they look at my son, or at other people with Down syndrome. I know that most of the time, they just see someone who looks a little different, talks a little different, who has a definite and obvious disability. Really - it's written all over his face - it's not like someone would confuse him as not having down syndrome.

But tomorrow - I challenge all of you - to look a little deeper - to notice the things that I notice when I look at Brady. To see his beautiful blue eyes, with the solar eclipse golden ring around his pupil. To see his bright sunshiney smile when something pleases him or he accomplishes something great! To imagine his delight when he proclaims "I DID IT" and feels successful after doing something that is hard for him. To feel of his amazing capacity to love and forgive. To be touched by his innocence and love for the simplest of things. To see him study and watch and learn as he observes things around him, because although he may have a short attention span, he IS watching and observing and learning..... all the time...and when the lightbulb goes off in his head as he makes connections - wow - the light that shines through his eyes with his understanding is astounding. To be touched by my little miracle.

I challenge you to look for beauty in things that the world doesn't see as beautiful. Things that may be considered "less" or "broken". I challenge you to looks for the ABILITIES of people, and forget the dis part. I challenge to step out of your comfort zone, say "hi" to someone who is different than you, or to tell a person with a disability or the parent of a child with a disability how beautiful they are. You will never know how much that will mean to them, but know that it tells them that you see PAST the disability to who their child really is. Because in the end - our children are NOT their disabilities - they are our children.

So - for Brady - take some time today to see the beauty in the world of disability - especially down syndrome. Check out one of the blogs in my sidebar - check out some of Brady's beautiful friends who share the same little something extra that he does :) Celebrate the little things, notice even the smallest accomplishments, even in your typical kids, and know that each and every milestone is a victory and a miracle! And - maybe talk to your kids a bit about Trisomy 21, and help them to understand that children and people with down syndrome are more like them than different!

Together we can change the world, one person at a time, and find beauty in the small and simple things!

Won't you come and celebrate with us? If you do - please leave a comment, even anonymously so I can celebrate with you too!!!!

Happy World Down Syndrome Day!!!!

A St. Patrick's Day smile......

I am sitting here watching Brady work with his most favorite tutor, Miss Lulu and he is being sooo funny today :) He's singing songs, acting out Spongebob, being silly - just about anything to get out of work ;)

So - he's working on these CVC word puzzles - matching the pictures to the words. Lu holds up jam and he says with the biggest smile - PEANUT BUTTER :)

It was too funny.....

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

Well - test results are in, and now it's time to make some decisions.... I so hate making decisions, especially when you can't really see the big picture. A crystal ball would be sooo nice in situations like this.

Brady's CT scan shows that even after a long long course of heavy duty antibiotics, he still has signficant sinus disease, both in one cheek sinus and in the ones above his eyes. So, the recommendation of the ENT is - sinus surgery.

He went through everything about the surgery on the phone with me yesterday, the success statistics, the pros, the cons, the possible complications - vision impairment or blindness, going through the thin bone between the sinuses and the brain and having damage from that, scarring, the surgery just not working. The sinuses between our eyes are really about 15 small sinus cavities separated by thin little bones, and the surgery involves cutting through them all and making them into one bigger sinus cavity that will drain better and not get all gunked up. They will also clean out and enlarge his cheek sinus cavities, in the hopes that that will help them to drain better, and not get so full of bacteria and infection. Success rate of this surgery - 75% are at or near normal, 15% show improvement and another 8-10% need additional surgeries and have continued problems. We would want Brady to be in the 75% category. To go through this, with the risks, and not have it work, would be awful :( And, it would be easier if Brady could make the decision on his own (but really - would even a typically developing 6 year old be able to make that decision?), but I feel such a huge responsibility to make the RIGHT decision for him, the one that will benefit him the most. Also, they would repair the hole in his ear drum at the same time - the tubes that made the hole were such a simple procedure, the patching of the hole, not nearly as simple :( And, not without risks of permanent hearing damage, and facial and tongue nerve damage. Of course the doctor was quick to point out that these complications are rare, but you know me - Miss Worst Case Scenario (and maybe a little too much Grey's Anatomy and ER ;)

Soooo - what to do, what to do.....

I'm pondering and praying and I have faith that the Lord will help me find the answers, because I know that he loves Brady as much as I do.

Also - the district lady finally met with Brady's teachers (I think they were both there, maybe?) and the district is going to provide 4 1/2 hours of aide time for Brady so he can be in regular ed. more. If it works then he will only be out of regular ed about 1 hour, and 30 minutes of that is for some sort of service (OT/ST/APE). The district lady will train the aide to help Brady do HIS own work (a novel idea and one he probably won't be that thrilled with, since he's been able to get all the people who work with him presently to do his work FOR him.....) and give the right level of support. Brady is so good at getting people to do things for him, he's a master manipulator and it doesn't hurt that he's pretty cute (and I'm not a bit biased). He is capable of doing a lot, even if he doesn't want to and will initially push back when being pushed to do something he feels is hard. It sounds promising, but I won't be getting my hopes up, because it is our district afterall and it would be some kind of miracle if it actually worked. But..... I do believe in miracles, hope for them, and pray for them.....daily :)

So...... decisions, decisions, decisions........

Sunday Grains of Gratitude......

Yikes - it's the middle of March!!! Only just over 2 months left of school - I am doing the happy dance over that one (and so is Big K - she is soooo ready to graduate!!!) But, time is moving a tad swiftly for me, and it will only go faster now that soccer season is in full swing - well - at least in practice mode. Games don't start for another couple of weeks, and then it will get even MORE crazy, because Little K and C both have their games on the same day. You'd think that at least one time they wouldn't have these overlapping schedules - it really makes it difficult to get to all their games - and it's even worse when the hubs is traveling, and generally fall and spring soccer seasons are his busiest times! But, he has been home more, so we'll see what happens this time around ;)

This week I'm grateful.....

that the old van is still working so C can drive herself to all her soccer practices and scrimmages (and eventually games!!!) It sure saves me a lot of scheduling conflict headaches that she can drive herself this year and frees me up to spend more homework time with the other kids. I'm grateful that the "purple people eater" keeps chugging along ;) and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it continues to do so (and all our other decade old cars too!)

that H did well at his baseball tryout. We're still waiting to hear on a team, and I'm not expecting him to get drafted for the "majors" or anything, but hopefully he'll get on a team with good kids and a good positive coach. He has potential, just hasn't had much training. So, we'll see. I'm also grateful that he had fun at 7th grade orientation. It was kind of fun to walk into the school and know most of the teachers, who is good, who is hard, who is terrible, who doesn't like jr. high aged kids (and why are they teaching them then?) etc... It helps that he will be my 4th kid to go through this school, and even though they've had teacher turnover, I still know most of the ones there, especially the GOOD ones ;) He has a percussion audition next week, so hopefully he'll do well and make it in. We still haven't heard from the charter school, so all school decisions are kind of on hold for now, but we are just going forward as if we are sticking in the full "public" sector.

that C and Big K had fun at Sadie's. I don't have any pictures, since they picked up THEIR dates, so I guess I'll have to wait until dance pictures come back to see how their matching shirts turned out. C's group did a "gansta" theme with black shirts, paint and jewels ;) Her gangsta name was C-sizzle and her date was D-dizzle LOL I'm not sure what ended up happening with Big K's shirts - she said something about sewing dinosaurs on them - but she is on the board of the organization that was in charge of the dance so she was gone all afternoon setting up, then off on her date, then home late from taking down decorations etc..., so I actually never even saw her shirts :) They said they both had lots of fun.

that the prom dress shopping was successful and not to painful. Well, not too physically or emotionally or mother/daughter relationship painful - prom dresses are always VERY painful on the pocketbook.... The girls chose different dresses in the lovely shade of Lime Green - which goes nicely with their tans.... Ooops - Big K better spend some time in the sun - maybe on choir tour in California - she's still a little winter pastey..... They will look beautiful :)

that Brady did SOOOOO great for his CT scan. I was amazed at how patient he was with it all, and that he held still and did it all without sedation - yayyyyy!

that we got to go to the Temple openhouse this week. There is a new temple somewhat close to us and we got tickets and took the kids for a tour. It is beautiful and the kids were so amazed at it all. Brady was so good and quiet and well behaved - I was proud of him. H came up to me after and told me how he really felt the spirit in the Celestial Room and the sealing room. If any of you aren't LDS and there is an opportunity for you to go to an open house - you should go - if not for satisfying your curiousity about mormon temples, then to just enjoy the beauty and peace of the buildings. I've just never felt anything like it anywhere else in the world, the peace you feel in the temple is just amazing. Our older kids had been to an open house once before, but they really were too small to remember, so this was a neat experience for them. Since the hubs and I were sealed in the temple when we were married, the kids have never been inside or seen anything but pictures in books of the different rooms. Little K especially loved the baptistry, and I have to agree with her - usually the rooms are darker as they are on the ground floor or in the basements of temples, but this temple is built on a hill and it has full windows from floor to ceiling in the baptistry and it is beautiful and full of light! It was a wonderful spiritual experience for my kids and I'm so glad they had a day off school and we could go together as a family (it was Big K's 3rd time, as she went with friends on two other occasions).

that we got the results of Brady's bloodwork and sweat test back. He does not have CF - thank goodness. His immune study came back showing that he is somewhat immune compromised, just under the normal range, so our pediatrician wants us to have a consult with an immunologist just to see if there anything we can do to try and boost his system. I'm thinking it's probably not low enough for them to do much of anything, but maybe the doc will have some words of wisdom for us ;) He does catch a lot of things at school, although what he does catch doesn't seem as severe or to last as long as he gets older and bigger. Maybe by the time he's an adult he'll be the healthiest in the family :)

that J's bone age shows he's just a little behind. It showed his bones are at the age of a 13 year old, and he is 14 1/2. That's about the same track that his sisters followed, although they were also averagely a little taller than he is percentile wise. If J continues to follow his growth curve he will be about 5' 8". I think he's resigned himself to the fact that he won't be as tall as his dad, although I think he is secretly hoping for a tall miracle. He is healthy and doing well, so we are grateful for that, and I'm sure his spirit is tall :) LOL

that Brady's friend Emma Sage does not have leukemia!!! She had a big scare this week, and while she is still very under the weather, we are sooo grateful for this small miracle. The power of prayer works and I'm grateful that I know it, and that there were so many people saying prayers for this beautiful little girl. We hope and pray that her recovery is swift and she is back to her wonderful little self quickly!!!

What are YOU grateful for this week????

Brady did GREAT for his CT scan :)

we scheduled for sedation, but thought we'd give it try without before using it. He did GREAT! Let them strap him in and held still and everything. I was so proud of him.

Still waiting on the results. I was so hoping to hear from the doctor today - hopefully Monday.....

Brady's Bits.....

Haven't had much to share for a while of our conversation snippets, cause when Brady is battling a sinus infection, there's not a lot of conversation going on :) Hopefully we'll get some answers from his CT scan tomorrow.

With my school discouragement and real concern that Brady is actually getting anything out of going there, combined with some really grumpy behavior as of late, which I have decided could be medication related, I decided to just take him to Miss Lulu for the past couple of days. He was so cute there today, he read a couple of phonics books, traced his name, colored, did some patterns, worked on biggest and smallest, did some cutting, did some math worksheets matching groups of objects to numbers, a couple of puzzles, and last of all we played this fun Eric Carle "Head to Toe" game that he loves. For the different cards you follow the directions and do actions to pictures from the book - which has been one of his favorites for years. Some of the cards have other activities to do - Say your name, tell the date, give your friend a high five, do a silly dance, sing Happy Birthday (he LOVES this one! although he's never sure who's birthday it actually is ;), what is your favorite flavor of ice cream etc...

One of the questions is "What is your favorite color?" Once a long time ago, Brady told me his favorite color was yellow. I blogged about it, cause it was so exciting. Well, he hasn't mentioned a favorite color when asked for quite some time, but today he piped up with "ORANGE!" So, apparently his favorite color this year is orange :) It's a good one, I better go get him some orange shirts to reinforce it LOL And, he ought to really like the orange swimshirt he has this year ;) It was fun to hear him answer that question, I hope to hear more answers to open ended questions soon :)

Brady's been asking a lot more questions too. It's not uncommon for him to ask "What's this" or "What's that" or have him point something out and say "LOOK mom!", several times a day now, and he is always excited to get an answer :) He used to just ask so HE could tell you the answer, now he really wants to learn the answers to things he doesn't know :)

And, to make my day - he was working hard and finished something and gave LuLu a big hug, and then he said to her "I give mom a big hug!" and ran over and gave me a big ol' squeeze. I just love this boy so much! How could my life EVER be complete without him? For all the woes with education, I have never ONCE regretted having him in my life. He completes our family, he brings things to it that we would not have if he hadn't come with that little something extra. And, his hugs and smiles of pure joy, his sense of accomplishment when he completes something hard, even if he's fought doing it all the way, is something that most people can only imagine feeling.

I love my little goofy, darling, funny, silly, sometimes a little difficult and stubborn, amazing, wonderful boy!!!!

Note to self.....

babies are cheap......

You only THINK babies are expensive with cribs and diapers and baby sundries........

Babies are CHEAP........

TEENAGERS are expensive.........

Cribs and diapers and baby sundries have nothing on CARS, SCHOOL FEES, and PROM DRESSES!!!!!!

Not to mention all the "must-haves"..... you know - things like Wii's, DS's, Ipods, Cell phones, Rocket Dogs, expensive calculators that do amazing things these days - why do we have to take math anyway - I think by now it should just be calculator courses instead of CALCULUS, ACT tests, AP tests, orthodontia, whitening strips, make-up, zit cream, great smelling shampoo, curling irons, blow dryers, straightners (seriously - what was wrong with curly hair????)

Enjoy those babies........... and start pinching those pennies......... They'll be money sucking teenagers before you know it!!!!!

Prayer Request......

can you please keep Brady's friend Emma Sage in your prayers? She is in the hospital having some tests run. She is an amazing little girl, so full of life and spunk and curiousity - please pray for a full return to health for her!

Also, there is a little boy in our local group who was just diagnosed with leukemia. He is about 3 and will be having a bone marrow transplant, please pray that he can be strong and make it through the chemo and all that he has to endure.

It breaks my heart to see these little guys have to go through so much and not understand it at all.

Thanks so much!

Sunday Grains of Gratitude......

Another week down - lots to be grateful for.....

This week I'm grateful that...

the hubs was in town all week :)

Big K got her housing requests in. Did you know they select roommates based on music preference and tidiness? Interesting eh??? I would have loved to have been part of the study that determined that was a factor for successful roommate selection :)

Big K and C both won district with their science fair projects and are going to State.

Brady is feeling a bit better, although he is still fairly grumpy. He is working better at home and at the center, although apparently that isn't spilling over into the public school setting - sighhhhhhhh!

C went to some soccer friendlies and beat a team in the premier division (the division above us) 4-1, and tied a younger premier team that killed us earlier in the fall. Her team played great and she said she had tons of fun. I'm grateful she was safe traveling the 3 1/2 hours to and from the city where the games were held :)

Brady looked so dang cute dressed up for Dr. Seuss Who day :) He had a fun week. I was a bit bummed that he got shafted from the read-a-thon in regular education because she sent him over to special ed. while they did that - but he still had fun wearing his jammies. Grrr at Mrs. W. though....

the kids did some fun things with friends, and I got a new puzzle :)

Sweet and simple :)

What are YOU grateful for this week????

Just some happenin's around here.....

It was Dr. Seuss week at kindergarten :) What do you think of my little Thing 1 :) He wasn't quite sure about the blue hair just right at first, but he ended up thinking it was pretty dang cool. I was at a loss on how to dress him up as a "Who" until it came to me that I could make him a "Thing". Luckily he had a plain red shirt in his drawer and we had some acrylic paints, and I quickly threw together his costume - I think it turned out pretty cute for a rushed 15 minute endeavor :)


C invited a friend to Sadies, but he'd already been asked, so he turned around and surprised her by inviting her to Prom! She is sooo happy, cause she kind of has a "thing" for this guy ;)





K's college acceptance to her 2nd choice university :) She signed up for housing, etc... at her first choice yesterday, although my MIL was trying to talk her into going to the 2nd choice pretty convincingly, as she would get a 4 year scholarship there, as opposed to the 1/2 tuition for one year that she is getting at her university of choice. I figured I'd pay the money and let her keep her testimony of the gospel, as the other University goes out of it's way to be opposite of her choice University and actually persecutes members of the church in some ways there. It's so sad that an institution would feel the "need" to define itself in such a way. I personally would much rather have her go to the private religious institution of her choice :) She'll probably end up at the other someday anyway - but by then she'll hopefully be lots more grown up and not just a new freshman trying to figure out the college scene :)

I missed my third blogiversary - boo hooo.....

oh well - I'm getting up to 1,00o posts - so maybe we'll celebrate that instead ;)

My niece mentioned on facebook that I've been delinquent in posting about our latest school "adventures". I'm so tired of calling them other names - woes, nightmares, ridiculous situations etc.... that I figure "adventures" sounds so much more upbeat. And, I am soooo trying to be upbeat about it all.

It's been a frustrating, exhausting and depressing year for me - full of "what could have beens" versus "what actually happened". In some ways I feel I've failed Brady, in lots of other ways I feel that his kindergarten teachers and some of his service providers have more than failed him - with their neglect, their apathy, and their non-existent expectations - they have taken a year that had soooo much potential for good, even greatness, and turned it into even less than mediocrity. And, to be honest, except with myself (go figure), I've never been one to settle for mediocrity. And, that especially applies when the welfare and education of my children are concerned. When I compromised on a schedule of 1/2 in special ed. and 1/2 in regular ed. in the fall, I knew that the chances were that Mrs. W., who really didn't want Brady in her class at all, would fudge on the time and try to have him in small group more. I knew I was going to have to stay up on that. But, I also had made it clear to the administration that it was our goal that Brady be spending more and more time in regular ed., instead of the less and less time that ended up happening. To be fair, the special ed. teacher went back on her part, as well, to letting me have the aide time for Brady during centers, etc... In her way of thinking, and Mrs. W's, he would get so much more out of small group - with more one on one instruction. Now, here's where it gets tricky. The truth is, Brady really DOES benefit from one on one instruction - but it all depends on WHAT that instruction IS.... Making grocery lists in kindergarten - what the sp. ed. teacher considers life-skills - NOT developmentally appropriate for 5 and 6 year olds. Really - unless they were doing a unit on a grocery store and putting one together in class, 5 and 6 year olds really shouldn't be concerned with making grocery lists. I was a tad livid when he brought home a paper that he had to trace that said "If I went grocery shopping, I would buy.....chicken nuggets, chocolate milk, and goldfish crackers". Of course that was better than the first grocery list which had cookies and fruit snacks on it - Brady doesn't even LIKE cookies and fruit snacks.... He hasn't been going out for recess and having the social interactions with his typical peers, he hasn't been going to library with his regular education class, as per his schedule, Mrs. W. hasn't worked on a single social goal with him or interacted with him personally much at all. It's been a huge disappointment of a year that had so much promise. And, don't even get me started on the OT and his services - what a lame lame experience. So - not only were the original supports that we all thought were in place for Brady really not all there, but, we've had no buy in from either kindergarten teacher - Mrs. S. all but called him a drooling idiot in an attempt to compliment him, Mrs. W. doesn't think he can do anything - and bless her heart, his aide in reg. ed. Mrs. S-the-2nd is a doll and tries her bestest, but she doesn't have a great amount of direction from Mrs. S., sooo, sometimes it just doesn't work out - plus she has to listen to the reg. ed. teacher, so if she kicks Brady and the other little girl to the curb after just 15 minutes in reg. ed., such as happened the other day, what really is she to do????

So - that is what has been happening lately and it has been HUGELY frustrating, and I do so hate to be a downer and really, who wants to read about my no-good-very-bad-super-frustrating school experience day, after day, after day.... People might say it's my own fault for "having" Brady, or that if I just listened to the district and did their thing it would be easier, or that I'm expecting too much. The honest truth is - I LOVE Brady, and I am so grateful he is my life, and I wouldn't trade the experience, or him for ANYTHING!!!! I feel a big responsibility to him to get him the education and services he deserves. In short, I would search and research for the best practices and teachers for my "typical" children, so why would I settle for anything less for Brady. In effect, because of his needs, I need to be MORE vigilant and proactive and make sure things are going well for him. In my heart, I only want to surround him with people who believe in him, who see him for Brady. Who see past the outward physical signs of disability, who take the time to get past his communication barriers, who see what a funny, loving, compassionate, silly, smart little boy he really is. He really is a ham and is so funny if you get to know him. I want people to get past the fact that he isn't abstractly conversational, but he's pretty good at answering yes and no questions, and if you take the time, you CAN have a conversation with him :) I want to surround him with people who have open minds and open hearts, who want to go the extra mile and don't see it as a burden, but do it because they really care. I want to surround him with people who genuinely care about him, even love him, and want to see him succeed. I've found over the last few years, that in education and even special education, that doesn't always happen - I found it for my other kids, but I've especially found it to be true in Brady's case. It's been a hard lesson, but I keep pursuing finding the "right" people, the ones who are "believers", the ones who look for solutions and think outside the box. Brady has many many of these people in his life - Mrs. S. the administrator, LuLu and Kasey, Melissa, Cyndie, Wende (our private OT), even Brenda (our private ST) who isn't warm and fuzzy was willing with my input to shake things up a bit and change things around to help Brady progress. It's trial and error, two steps forward, one step back, but, it is progress and that is our goal.......and responsibility.

So, there you have it - my blogging block and kind of an overview of what is happening ;) The administrator and a lady from the district who mentors the special ed teacher met on Monday, and supposedly the mentor lady will be meeting with both kindergarten teachers to talk about changing up Brady's schedule and making some good changes for inclusion. I am interested to hear what her thoughts are on the subject, so I hope she returns my phone call today. It's been a long year of not much happening at school, but we have been chugging along more at home and I feel that he is progressing. His sinus infection is getting better and he is sleeping better and is MUCH happier these days - thank goodness :) I just love this boy so much and I want not only what is "appropriate" for him, but I really do want the BEST - even though I can't say that to school personnel. It is still my goal and my mission ;)

Thanks for "listening" to my ramblings for the last 3 years - you're the BEST :)

Sunday Grains of Gratitude......

It's Sunday - we were all well enough to go to church today - and I'm actually posting my gratitudes - on Sunday - whoooo hoooooo - something to be grateful for ;) It's been a crazy week - but - a good one too :) Lots of things to think about, pray about, worry about - but hey - that's nothing new :)

This week I'm grateful.....

Big K got a 1/2 tuition scholarship to her University of choice and has committed to attend there. Housing opens up this coming weekend and she will be putting her name in with her friends to live on campus. She is so excited :) We're hoping that another scholarship that we applied for will come through and that possibly all her tuition will be covered and we'll just be figuring out how to help her with living expenses :) I'm grateful both that she was accepted to this university and that she got a partial scholarship - both were the result of a lot of hardwork on her part, and maybe some prayers on mine LOL

that the administration is stepping in to step up Brady's program at school. I have been very disappointed and frustrated at the lack of attempt on Brady's regular education teacher to include him in anything remotely academic, heck, she hasn't even been taking him to recess or keeping to the schedule she herself made up for him. He has been spending the majority of his day in the small group class and that is not okay with me. Both the assis. principal and I have been documenting his time in regular education, and I think we are both upset and frustrated at the way things are going. But, tomorrow morning, both kindergarten teachers, the administration, and someone from district special education will be sitting down to work out a new and improved schedule that will include center time etc... for Brady - actual academic portions of his day in reg. ed. It's really been a nightmare lately, and I've been so depressed about it all. It's a major reason I haven't been blogging or checking blogs as much lately, I'm just emotionally worn out and I feel like I've failed Brady by not being a better advocate and not knowing how to change things for the better for him. I know that part of the fault lies with the regular education and the special education teachers, neither of whom I have any great love for, at this point in time. Both have no expectations of Brady, in their own ways, and neither of them really see or know Brady, as Brady - which is so sad, after 6 months of school. I gave up on worrying about them working on his IEP goals a long time ago, and have just started doing it myself. And, what's more depressing is that the hubs and I were at school on Friday for an event of H's, and stopped in to watch (unnoticed by either Brady or the OT para) Brady doing OT. We watched for at least 5 minutes and the OT para did not interact with Brady once during that time. He was doodling on a magnadoodle for a little while, then she handed him a pop tube, and all the while giving him no instruction, not talking to him once. The only words she said to him the whole time we were observing were "Oh look Brady it's time to go back to class" after looking at her watch. She did paper work and her own thing the entire time. What a waste - I'm going to tell the district that we're done with her as a para, and with Gary-the-jerk-OT - it's not even worth the time of him being out of class. The one thing I am grateful for is our assistant principal - she has been wonderful and amazing and so very sensitive. She "gets" it, and I think she is as frustrated as I am at this point. She told me that the principal is planning on having Brady there, fully included with some resource pull-out, for first grade, and that he is committed to making it successful. I almost feel bad for putting his name into the charterschool lottery, but I don't really. I have to look out for Brady's best interests, and in spite of the changes, and the schedule and really trying on our part - things teacher/academic wise were not good this year. The kids have been great, although I see them looking at him a little more differently now, and I know it's because he isn't in their class or interacting with them on social levels nearly as much as he was at the beginning of the year - thanks Mrs. W. for helping so much with that - ughhhhhh! I am grateful that he's had his neighborhood friends and that the kids have been really accepting and kind, and for the support of our friends throughout this whole frustrating year. I couldn't have done it without them! Thanks guys!

that the hubs and I could get away for a couple nights. It was an interesting sort of get-away - just at a hotel that he had two free nights (which expired at the end of Feb.) at, that is about 20 minutes from our house, but it was so nice to be together :) The first night Brady joined us, as he had some appointments up at the children's hospital. But the second night, well - after about 7:30 p.m., it was just the hubs and I ;) It was nice to spend some time together just the two of us, not running around crazy (well - after we ran around crazy). It's always refreshing to just be together, away from it all. I'm grateful Brady's appointments went alright - that we only had to do the sweat test once - it made running up the stairs to the 4th floor and taking the elevator down about 10 times in 30 minutes almost worth it ;) The blood labs required two sticks - so sad for my sweet boy, but I'm praying the results give us some answers and that it will have been worth it. I can't quite figure out how people taking blood in a children's hospital can't get it right the first time, but every time we go up there, he ends up with way more pokes and bruises than at our local hospital - so frustrating :( I'm grateful we got the appointments out of the way though and have a plan of action for his sinuses. He'll be having a CT scan here in a few weeks and I think that will tell us even more. I'm grateful for a doctor that is willing to listen to our concerns and take action to improve something that has been a problem for a long time and that really affects Brady's ability to learn, develop and progress.

that Big K's science fair project is no longer littering my counters! I know their group is hoping to go to state, so I hope they get their wish. Last year a similar project went to nationals, and I think they'd like to do that too - although last year nationals were in Georgia, which is a tad bit more exciting than this year, where I think they're in Reno, Nevada LOL C also finished her project, but luckily all her apgar and bacteria samples were housed at the school, and not growing in my kitchen. I'll be glad when this science fair is over and we can put it all behind us ;) I'm just not dwelling on the fact that I have 4 more kids to do projects for the next 10 years ;) One day at a time, one day at a time LOL

that C's soccer team got in division one. Hopefully we'll get some good competition there, rather than some of the teams we played last year which would have been better served to be playing district competition instead of state competition. She is excited to start her club season :)

that J got his big ol' research project for AP geography done and turned in on time. I was thinking that maybe he should have been grounded for life when he told me last Sunday that he needed 3 book sources for this project due on Tuesday. Like the libraries are even open on Sunday :) Luckily the internet is a resourceful place and even have full text books available - I am soooooo grateful for that. So - it all got done, and hopefully he'll get a good grade. Procrationation is a terrible thing, and apparently it's genetic, because we have it, all our kids have it, and I'm worried for future generations ;)

that the week is over and done with and I'm looking forward to a clean slate, a new day, a new week. Hopefully everyone will remain healthy and we can move forward :) Only 2 months left in school and then we can really partay!!!!

What are YOU grateful for today???